Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
