We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
