and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
