do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
