belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
