Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
