were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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