It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
