mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Who did Billy Mays play for?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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