oh fat girl friday strikes again...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
