Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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