Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
