brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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