Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
