I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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