Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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