she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
