just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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