What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
