everyone is single if you try hard enough
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
