no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
