Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
