i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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