I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
