Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
