Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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