the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
