In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
