none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
When are your genitals available?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
