I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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