mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
