He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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