I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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