How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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