Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
