If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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