I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
