so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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