My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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