the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
