hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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