FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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