i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
