hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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