we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
