well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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