turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
