just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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