I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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