all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If I die, sorry about rent.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
