Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
