And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
